Coolest thing since AOL

dialupmodem:

me: ugh having trouble connecting to the wifi using my mac 

every PC user in the room: WELL YOUR FIRST MISTAKE WAS PURCHASING THAT OVERPRICED PIECE OF ALUMINUM YOU PIECE OF TRASH LMAO 

wizkhalifornia:

wizkhalifornia:

wizkhalifornia:

i blew off writing an essay to make this

does anyone recall those mens warehouse ads come on guys this is pure gold

im going to reblog this until tumblr ceases to exist

wizkhalifornia:

wizkhalifornia:

wizkhalifornia:

i blew off writing an essay to make this

does anyone recall those mens warehouse ads come on guys this is pure gold

im going to reblog this until tumblr ceases to exist

attractive person: hi
me: is this some kind of sick joke
woodmeat:

great post

a classic

woodmeat:

great post

a classic

officialswiggityswag:

wizkhalifornia:

*pours a tall glass of V8™ V-Fusion® Açai Mixed Berry and swirls it around in the glass while gazing out of an upper-story window of a skyscraper, discussing potential business ventures with my colleagues and studying what the stock market has been doing in the past week*

are u okay

no im dad

wizkhalifornia:

im about to go into a grocery store alone for the first time ever to buy things for myself wish me luck

update: im dead

*pours a tall glass of V8™ V-Fusion® Açai Mixed Berry and swirls it around in the glass while gazing out of an upper-story window of a skyscraper, discussing potential business ventures with my colleagues and studying what the stock market has been doing in the past week*

im about to go into a grocery store alone for the first time ever to buy things for myself wish me luck

wizkhalifornia:

a girl in front of me in class is on tinder rn and i saw my picture show up and she swiped left ouch

also this didnt happen

officialgermany:

wizkhalifornia:

grawly:

what

where was 9

7 8 it

i have the authorities on speed dial

officialgermany:

wizkhalifornia:

grawly:

what

where was 9

7 8 it

i have the authorities on speed dial

officialunitedstates:

infiniteneurons:

officialunitedstates:

I keep one of those alarm clocks that you used to see on 90s cartoons (those yellow ones with the huge analog clock and the two bells at the top) in my pocket when I go to county fairs so I can pretend that I’ve won a stuffed animal whenever the alarm goes off

I feel like I need to hug you

I sometimes wonder what it is like to receive a hug

since when did people on tumblr get so SMOOTH

a girl in front of me in class is on tinder rn and i saw my picture show up and she swiped left ouch

memewhore:

asian:

asian:

I just moved to Canada recently and Canadians have their milk in a bag.

It’s actually so much better than cartons because it makes less waste and doesn’t take up a lot of space in your fridge!image

I FUCKING HATE MILK IN A BAG

WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT OF THIS IDEA

You’re supposed to put it in a pitcher, dummy.

^ THEN WHATS WRONG WITH A FUCKING CARTON IN THE FIRST PLACE

this is true i didnt reblog this last time and i havent gotten a dime since

mulders:

I’m about to have a grand fucking time